Last kiss goodbye

I’m back in Bali, on the second leg of my ‘Goodbye Indonesia’ tour. The tour started in Labuanbajo with the wedding of Ros (former VSO volunteer) and Kasim (local man). The wedding was fun, and in a pleasant mix of European and Indonesian culture, pretty drunken.

I wasn't the most drunk...

...but I was the last one dancing (with the groom!)

After a day to recover, Zoe & I took a two day diving trip – amazing marine life (sharks, dolphins, rays), amazing nightlife (not my usual kind, but a night under the stars with just the sound of water lapping at the boat hull), and amazing company (Zoe of course, I think there may be quite a lot of idolization of the one I’m leaving behind over the next few weeks!)

relaxing on a deserted beach between dives...

...relaxing on the boat between dives!

So then back to Bali, this haven of sun, sea and whatever. I have a few days here alone to sort out final bits and pieces with VSO then Zoe comes out to join me. We plan to revisit some old haunts, including Gilli T – the island where we had that amazing New Year party, which already seems like a hundred years ago.

I still don’t miss Ruteng, but returning to all these other places does make me realize that I do like Indonesia after all – or at least the parts where you can get cheese wine and dancing!

Last words from Flores

‘I have had the leaving party & the leaving presents... all that is left to do now is leave’. I wrote that sentence once before, back in November (a lifetime ago) – I guess that’s the thing with travelling, as well as always arriving some place new, you are also always leaving somewhere.

My leaving party here was quite different to the one I had before I left the UK though. We went to the beach, had a BBQ, played games. Far less alcohol, but still a lot of fun.


the office girls

traditional dancing on the beach

skipping with the boss

So here I am again, ready to leave one place & start another adventure. I leave Ruteng on Tuesday to travel down to Labuanbajo for a wedding. Then the following Monday I fly out to Bali.

At the moment I am not sorry to leave, but I’m sure in time I will look back on this past eight months as some of the best of my life. I will forget the bad stuff (the boredom, the fear, the loneliness) and be able to focus on what I learnt (independence, patience, cultural understanding) and what I enjoyed (the coffee, the scenery, the research).

I will continue blogging, but I guess I wont be your Flores Correspondent any longer. I haven’t thought of a new name for the blog yet, so let me know if you have any ideas.

Just here to do a job (part 2)

The research is finished, written up and submitted, ready to have an impact at an international level. But all along the problem has been how it can impact at a local level. My Indonesian is improving, but it would be a long time before I could personally present the research back to the community. My research team haven’t been paid for the last two months, so I can’t really expect them to do it either. The one forum that seemed appropriate with the time and resources I have left was a seminar of local NGOs, government staff and health workers held earlier this week. Working with the one member of my team who still turns up at the office I wrote a presentation, but now I wonder why I bother.

I’ve been to seminars here before, I should have known how it would go, but my naivety, my optimism about the importance of the research (and probably my fortnight in Bali) made me think that this time it would be different. But of course it wasn’t.

The seminar started an hour late (more or less early in Indonesian terms). Following the welcome & introductions the head of the region was first to speak. Now the general rule seems to be that the head of the region has to talk for twice as long as anyone who has spoken before him, so in this case he rambled on for about an hour. This puts us two hours behind schedule before the presentations have even begun. It was therefore an hour into the lunch break before my colleague was called up to present, and was requested to reduce our already slim presentation into 10 minutes.

At the best of times, the audience at these sorts of events is fickle. It is perfectly acceptable during presentations to wander in and out of the room, hold private (or even large group) discussions, and make or receive phone calls, oh, and if you are male you can (and should) smoke. So in the pre (or more accurately, during) lunch slot, it is fair to say that the audience was less than attentive.

So, on the whole, I think my research will have a limited impact at a local level. Maybe that is my fault; maybe it is a cultural difference. But to be honest, (and I know this may induce some angry comments) I’ve done the job I came here to do, and I think I have done it well. Now it is up to those who live & work here permanently to utilise the research and impact at a level I just cannot reach.

Ready to go

Well I made it back to Ruteng at last, but I’m not happy about it. Coming back has made me realise how ready I am to leave this place. The boredom in the house and the hassle outside of it have always been hard for me to cope with, but it feels all the worse after having spent so much time away. I was always happier here (and maybe anywhere) when I had work to do, but now that has finished I am counting down the days till I can leave.

It’s hard to share these feelings with anyone else. My friends and colleagues in Ruteng have never (will never) understood why life is so hard for me here & what I gave up to do this. Ruteng is their city and they cannot possibly understand the different world I came from and miss so much. Zoe is of course supportive but it seems unfair to complain to her about getting through another two weeks when she has another two years – she is struggling enough with her own decision to stay.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a home / job / life that I’ve been so ready to give up so quickly, but I feel I’ve done what I needed to do here – both personally & professionally – and now it’s time to go. The list of things I’ll miss wont be long, but the list of things I’ve learnt, about myself & about other people, will be, but I’ll save that for another day. The highs and lows here have been immense, I just hope that I can snap out of this negativity soon so I can leave on a high.

Naughty but nice

I guess its been a while since my last blog post & you may have been wondering why... Well firstly, Indonesia has become 'normal' to me, so it's hard now days to find things to write about. Secondly, I've been spending quite a lot of time in Bali.

I travelled to Bali with Zoe 2 weeks ago in order to hold her hand while she had some medical tests. I was supposed to return to Flores after 3 days, but I'm still here! Now this is certainly a bit naughty, I used up my holiday allowance going to Thailand last month. But on the other hand I have utilised the faster & more reliable internet connection to finish & submit my research report.

So what has kept me in Bali so long? It is nice here, but I do keep meaning to leave, it's just that things keep cropping up. I've changed my flight 3 times! The first time was to stay with Zoe whilst she underwent more tests. The second was a public holiday in Flores (why go back to sit at home alone?) and this last time it was a man.

Just when I was getting into the swing of being an independant woman I meet this guy who ticks all my boxes, & the feeling seems to be mutual. We had an amazing time for 5 days, but now he's gone & it's unlikely our paths will cross again unless we make them.

So now I don't know what to do. Would it be crazy to chase what could just have been a 'Bali thing'? Or would it be crazy to miss this opportunity to find out if it really could be something more? It'd be naughty... but it would be nice.